Pride

Everyone has something they are not proud of, a weakness if you may, be it physical, emotional, or just something about yourself as a person. I thought that by sharing my weakness, knowing that others around me know about it would help me over come it.

Sometimes, I tend not to follow rules or instructions because I think they are not worth the effort needed. Sometimes, when my parents ask me to do something in a particular manner, I tend to either ignore or go against what they want, as I think it is “uncool” to actually listen to what they have to say and respect their opinion or decisions. So what is this big obstacle that keeps me from listening to my parents, doing what I am supposed to do, properly and on time? My pride. 

My pride comes in the way of “following the rules”, as I think it is hurtful to my pride when I don’t do what I think is right and instead, listen to someone else’s (most of the time my parents') opinion on what to do. I think the worst bit is that I realize I’m doing it, but still can't manage to do anything to correct myself. 

Sometimes, when I am not listening to my parents and arguing with them, I want to find the willpower to listen to them and do what they tell me to, but of course, that would hurt my pride. 

“Listen to them-they only want what’s best for you, even if it means they have to sacrifice a lot,” I tell myself. “Suck up your pride, it’s gonna get you no where and you’ll be the loser,” Of course, these are all just words. Again, taking action is the real challenge for me. 

One of the hardest things about wanting to change something about yourself is taking action and making a conscious effort to correct myself. Now, every time I am in a scenario when I have to do as instructed by my parents, I try my best to keep my comments to myself and just do what I am told to do. It isn’t easy at all. Sometimes, I even go back to my old ways, but realize sooner or later what I am doing. 

I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite a while now, but I haven't been able to bring myself to put my emotions and thoughts into words until now. Why? Because of my pride. Because of my pride, I thought that writing this would change people's opinions about me, but I also hoped that by writing this, I would be able to resolve my issue. 

And hey, guess what? So far, so good.